Mallika and I were driving in my Kia Soul, Princess Buttercup, to a small town near Pasadena for a hang out session on Saturday. As we were driving on the freeway, around twenty-five different firework shows were going on throughout the city. The lights were reflecting off of the tall buildings of Downtown Los Angeles. I felt perfect. It was gorgeous and beautiful site. While in the car, we were jamming to some old-school music. *Cheers* to a wonderful night!
After photographing Darrell in the afternoon we went back to his place where I was read a letter from his mom in Chinese, which was pretty crazy. When I turned around a young girl was staring me and after a brief moment I jumped with glee because Iove mirrors and different shades of light which were behind us. I grabbed my camera and framed Darrell in the light.
Afterwards I played him the piano and we ended the evening with me kicking his butt in video games :)
I’ve lost my way to my dream.
Just short of a year ago I had big dreams of photographing for National Geographic and adventuring with my camera every day. In the past six months, I have barely touched my camera, changed my major from photography to criminal justice, settling at something more stable.
I knew something was terribly wrong because my interactions with others became minimal, I was getting angry at people and my friends and becoming really stressed out about everything. I was complaining a lot, not eating well. No exercise was in my daily routine.
This behaviour is dramatically different from my normal self who is very go green, into healthy eating and exercising, and playing with her camera every day, almost obsessing over photography as a result of pure passion in hopes of becoming greater.
I asked my friend why he wasn’t getting angry with me as I acted out the past couple of months. He said that it was because I had a lot going on and that he knew I was just trying to get through it. What I realized from that conversation was that I was really going through a difficult time. I gave up on my dream and decided on something that I believed to be a good job, protecting people as a police officer, but it didn’t satisfy what my heart and my dreams and goals had been wanting. I repressed my not only want, but my need for photography and traded it in for something more stable.
Now that I realized what I had done, I am feeling passionate again and more alive than ever.
The reason for sharing my story today is that you should never, ever give up on your dreams. Even if you don’t see any possible way to achieve them, there always is and you can’t give up if you know in your heart that’s what you were meant to do- need to do.